Johnsenclan

These are the earliest I can remember. You’d think that the pessemist in me would remember all the bad stuff, but this was pretty hard. I jotted down notes for a week for a list of five good and five bad, it it was harder than I expected.

1. The crawlspace. I stuck my head down there and it scared the crap out of me. I think I was looking for something, maybe a missing toy. It was damp and dark and not someplace I was usually hanging out. Then my dad grabbed onto me and I was terrified, sure some kind of monster had captured me for sure.

2. The alien shed. It was in the back corner, and part of it had green plastic sheeting. I’m pretty sure my dad kept it locked, but the doors didn’t shut firmly and I could fit my tiny kids body in if I pulled the doors apart. I slipped and fell on my face, and when I looked up ther was the biggest spider I’ve ever seen. Tht combined with the green-tinted light coming through the sheeting made me think I was being attacked by aliens.

3. Throwing up. I was playing with a kid across the street (I don’t remember anything about him other than he had red hair and owned every Star Wars toy ever made). It started snowing and I decided to go home. As I crossed the street, I started vomiting in the snow, and it was bright red. At the time I thought blood was coming out of my throat, but now I realize it was probably the punch mystery redhead always had in his fridge. I think it’s the first time I’d ever thrown up, besides maybe as a baby. I was pretty sure I was dying, and all I thought about was crawling home to tell my mom goodbye before I kicked the bucket. I crawled he thirty or so feet, got tucked into bed by my mom.

4. Underwear. I don’t remember the situation, but I was in trouble and my mom dragged me outside for my dad to talk to me about it. All I was wearing was a pair of underroos, and as she pulled me around the corner I realized there were two neighbor girls standing there. Trauma!

5. Tie - stitches on my right wrist, stitches on my left wrist. My friend Heatha and I were jumping a fence into the church parking lot. As I came over the top, my wrist caught the top of the fence, and it went through my wrist. I hung there for a second, and then Heath pushed me up off of the fence. We ran to my house while he comforted me by saying if they had to cut off my wrist I could be like Luke Skywalker. The other wrist was cut open when I ran into a glass door and stuck my hand right through it. I was pretty sure my parents were going to leave me at the doctor and never let me come home after I ruined that door.

More lists of five here.   With five good memories later this week.

Tags: five, Jeremy